Conquering Your Fear

How many of you experience fear in your life?  Do you find yourself fearful every day?  Once a week?  Or hardly ever?   Fear can creep up around situations before we know it.  Perhaps you have been asked to give a talk or be a guest speaker for a group.  You are excited and thrilled that someone respects you enough to ask you to share your knowledge and experience.  Then you think,  “OH NO!”  I’ve never given a talk in front of a big group, What if I mess up?  What if I stutter, or I sound nervous and inexperienced?  What if I faint?  What if I embarrass myself?   Arghhhh!

What "fear" really means is false expectations appearing real.

Perfectionism.  A lot of our fear revolves around trying to be, or wanting to be perfect.  We feel that people will not accept us unless we behave a certain way, know absolutely everything in our field of study or business and never have an embarrassing moment.  Fear of being rejected because we are not meeting others expectations can be paralyzing.  The truth however is that those unrealistic expectations are really of our own making.  The good news is that because they are our own beliefs, we can change them.  Make a real effort to put things in perspective and see yourself from someone else’s shoes.  No one is perfect, that is what makes us interesting and human!

Lack of trust. Some of us don’t trust ourselves and our capabilities, which can be a by-product of not trusting others. It is often how we were raised, and how we’ve been conditioned to relate in our society.  Past hurts, teasing, ridicule and embarrassments leave us distrusting of others and influence how we see ourselves.  Learning to be comfortable in your own skin and trusting in your own gifts and capabilities will help you to move forward to overcome any distrust that brings fear into your life.

Affirmations.  Affirmations are positive statements that we say to ourselves on a daily basis that can have a powerful effect on our belief system.  Most of us have heard of affirmations and maybe even used them in the past, but there are a couple of secrets to using them.  First of all you have to find an affirmation that you can believe here and now that feels pretty comfortable to you, then you have to be able to put some emotion behind it. For example:  If you have a fear of speaking in public and have never done it before and you say to yourself " I am a great speaker", that may not ring true to you.  You could say tho "I am excited to be speaking at the ...............  I am becoming a better speaker everyday"  This may sound more believable to you, so your conscious mind won't doubt it.  To make the statement even more powerful, smile when you say it and picture yourself speaking wonderfully well at the event.  Experiencing the joy of visualizing becoming a great speaker will be more convincing to your conscious mind.

I'd like to share with you my favorite affirmation and how to do it more powerfully.

I want you to look into the mirror every morning, put on a big smile and say to yourself   ...............I love you.  You are beautiful!

Do this until it feels comfortable and believable - then watch the magic happen!